Dear Humans, Meet Bryan

Let me begin with loving Maureen who only wanted to come to school, be her best, try so hard despite the system rather than because of it, graduate. Maureen loves dancing as much as she loves reading. Maureen is ambitious, a little reserved. Maureen has fears, like everyone else. Maureen tries to face them everyday. 

Now, consider this scenario– Maureen opens her phone to vicious messages from her colleagues. She is taken aback, becomes forlorn; an irritation mixed with disbelief takes over her. Her confidence drops to an abysmal end. She hates herself, her existence. She considers sniper, but it would be too quick, too fast, she

Anonymous. Rubbish. There is nothing anonymous about all these. These messages come from the sophomore class; the people we laugh with, say good morning to, people we exchange notes with, people we say 'Do you have two pens?' to, people whose daily lives have become part of ours, that we can easily predict them. Yet, we say anonymous. I laugh. 

I do not know so much about mental health, but I know that many of us exhibit poor mental health. Yes, you. It is easy to look at the other and say, 'You dey ment', but in truth, almost all of us have mental issues. You don't know? How would you, when we have become a generation of youths masking our true selves in anonymous tweets and relishing in the pain of others. To some, seeing others hurt, certifies their hurt too. To some, seeing others hurt, stirs the humanity in them to reach out and heal. Think of Maureen. Think of you.

I often make the mistake of thinking that something which is obvious to me, is just as obvious to everyone else. Truth is, it can't be. We are all wired differently; our desires, our sexualities, our ambitions, our thoughts, our outlook. And most times, where I err is in trying to rewire every other person into what I think should be the ideal. I am unlearning that. I am deliberately unlearning that. The world is a sketch of diversity. Hence, inclusivity becomes as important as making exclusivity redundant. Who wants a world where we can say mango is the only fruit? Yes, boys love girls, girls love girls, boys love boys. Let us refrain from feigning ignorance and try to understand. Sexuality is NEVER a choice. Who would choose to be gay in a world that makes it so hard for gays to thrive? I am not cancelling anyone. Yes, you may not understand how these diversity in sexuality operates, but there is humility and humanity in knowing that there are things we may not understand, things we may not fully understand. 

It is easy to say, "Oh, but these things do not get to me, say all you want". Only psychos say that, only psychos can say that. To be human is to be part of a community, and we are better community members when we begin to have empathy. If a vile statement can't get to you, can it get to your neighbor? The fragility of love is that it is just as selfish as it is benevolent; I am alive to keep you alive. 

When my mother sees me, she says, ''Nna m, my father''. I tell her always that I want to be her mother, because her idea of me being her father is that I have to mask my emotions and appear strong, and hard, like a stone. But I am not a stone. I want to feel what others feel. I want to cry. I want to laugh and throw my head back. I want to flip my imaginery weave and sashay. I want to be as flexible as possible. I want to truly live. 

I have hurt a lot of people. I am sorry. If you have, now is a time to generally apologize. If there is one thing to take from this long letter, let it be to always create space for inclusivity so far as the intent is of good faith. It is what people mean when they say, Live and let's live.

My name is Bryan Okwesili and I am a HOMOSEXUAL.

Author: http://www.smokelong.com/the-other-half-of-a-yellow-sun/

Twitter: @meet_bryan_

Instagram: @meet_bryan

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